Little Car on a Big Journey

Sending a car to Germany which was bought here in the US is basically no big deal. You have to have it registered for at least six months, and you have to pay for transportation. But it certainly is a totally different story, if it is MY car and if it is ME who has to communicate with all parties involved. Why take the easy way, if there’s a complicated one?

Ozzy Express LLC, owned by Oswaldo, was given the order to bring Gizmo, beloved car and companion, to New Jersey. We were told that Ozzy would show up on Thursday or Friday. This was definitely a schedule in need of being narrowed down a bit, at least to 24 hours instead of 48. So I managed to find out Oswaldo’s telephone number and called him. The conversation follows:

I: “Oswaldo?”

O: “Hello?”

I: “Hi, this is Inken Schuster of 19 Lexington Road in West Hartford. Is this Oswaldo?”

O: “Yep! Ozzy Exprrrrress speaking. Oswaldo on the phone!”

I: “Fine! Oswaldo, you’re supposed to pick up my Mazda Miata this Thursday or Friday, right? Do you think we can agree on Thursday?”

O: “Why I not come today, I have time? You have time?”

I: “Today would be even better, but you should be here before 6.30pm.”

O: “What? Nonono! I come afterrrrr eight.”

I: tempted to say “lucky you”!” I said “No, Oswaldo, today I am only here until 6.30. After that we are invited for dinner.”

O: “No matterrrrr, only need carrrrr, not you. I come afterrrrrr eight.”

I: “Well, I see that a little different. Can you come either today before six thirty, or tomorrow morning?”

O: “Woman, I tell you I’ll be therrrre afterrrrr eight! Don’t you underrrrrstand?”

I: “Oswaldo, there is no reason to shout at me. And I perfectly understand. But you don’t seem to understand that I am not here today after eight. And I want to be present, when somebody picks up my car.”

O: “Woman, hang up, I call you again in an hourrrrr.”

Wondering, which difference this hour would make in our obviously unequal perception of our only shared language, I hung up. We went to a wonderful dinner at Brenda and Bob’s house. And instead of one hour later, Ozzy called two hours later to tell me….

O: “Arrrrrrre you therrrrrre yet? I come shorrrrrtly!”

I: not tempted to be sarcastic anymore, rather to go ballistic “No Oswaldo, I told you, I would NOT be there after eight. Can you come tomorrow morning?”

O: “You told, you not therrrrrre beforrrrrre six thirrrrrty, woman. Do you think, you know what you want?”

I: adorably cool as I must say “Yes, Oswaldo, I think so. Can you come tomorrow?”

O: “Now listen, woman, because you no underrrrrstand me and I no underrrrrrrstand you, I just tell you now: I will be therrrre between 7.30am and 8.30am. Make surrrrre, carrrrr and all paperrrrrrrr is rrrrready, I pick up.”

I: exhausted “Yes sir. See you tomorrow.”

Tomorrrrrrrow 7.30:

Driving the car up the ramp wasn’t any easier. Picture me in the car, Oswaldo to my left shouting “to the rrrright, to the rrrrrright” and Augustin to my right shouting “weiter links, weiter links! (further to the left, further to the left!). It takes a saint not to shout back!

Next time I will drive my car to Germany. Still working on a plan to cross the ocean. I will let you know!

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